this prayer model has been a wonderfully practical, yet fundamental way to commune with my Father, as of late:
Adoration (adoring my Father, first and foremost, for who He is)
i adore Your faithfulness in the past, present, and future of the entire Universe
Confession (confessing my inherent sinful nature)
i confess my mistrust of Your faithfulness and questioning of my place in Your grand scheme
Thanksgiving (thanking Him for all that He is, all that He's given)
i thank You for not only creating the Universe, but dwelling with me in it & sustaining me through it
Supplication (presenting my requests to His attention)
i ask you to help me to dwell even closer with You & get my attention off of myself and onto You in everything I do
excerpts from Psalm 23
the Lord is my Shepherd,
{the Lord is everything. He is beginning and End. in Him encompasses anything & everything i could every possibly need. He is a Shepherd, therefore i am a helpless sheep, in desperate need of guidance}
I shall not want.
{i do not have want for anything. i lack nothing.}
He make me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
{He helps me to stop and smell the aromas//stop and see the wildflowers//stop and feel the fresh breeze//stop and realize He is present. He helps me to stop and take stock of my life. He forces me to be still and remain in His love. He interrupts my constant questioning and asks me to just 'be.'}
he restores my soul.
{He heals my brokenness. He comes flooding into all the places where I am lacking. He fixes my heart.}
He guides me in paths of righteousness
{He shows me the way to go. He naturally holds my hand and brings me towards Himself}
for His name's sake.
{He brings me through to then be in greater partnership with and for Him}
it is well
with my soul
seasons are changing {well, not here in HK, weather-wise! haha!}. here i am again, laying down in the most beautiful way that only following Christ can be. over the past couple of weeks, i have literally, physically laid down more than i'd like to admit. but, it was crucial for me after a particularly taxing season--emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. the last two weeks have essentially been a healing period after an extremely tumultuous (for better and worse reasons!) stretch of months. without divulging into too much detail, i essentially had a crossroads point in my world, in the last couple of months, where i needed to make an important decision. a decision that was seemingly practical and matter-of-fact to most, yet painfully difficult for me personally, due to my dedication to the nature of its presence in my life. i toiled and toiled and toiled and toiled until my head was spinning. i sought guidance from various trusted accountability sources. i asked god in prayer. i sought my personal understanding and rationality of what seemed best. but, nothing seemed to be particularly clear or make sense to me like it usually did. {God has such a sense of humour...He will speak to us in such differing ways depending upon the circumstance!} i could not justify making my decision either way, and it seemed to eat me alive. ultimately, from the help from the Holy Spirit, knowledge of free will and God's plan going before me, i decided to take a particularly difficult step from a situation of comfort into the unknown. a step of faith. with that came deep sadness for the subsequent change, expected/unexpected fears, questioning, and ultimately a battle of self-worth and, perhaps even, a mini "identity crisis." once i had made my decision, i was still crippled with fear, almost even more so than before! it was an extremely difficult time of trying to process and understand why i was going through these changes & what it meant for the past and the future. "what does it really mean?" "what is my purpose?" "then how is God using/not using this season?" i realized i was putting God in a box by pressuring answers from those questions. i realized i was putting so much pressure on myself, my abilities {and lack therof!} & the outcome of my next steps. i realized i was once again not trusting or believing His infinite goodness and plan.
the Lord, in the perfect ways He best knows, took me to those {literal and figurative!} "green pastures" and "quiet waters." i had time to just be with him. i had time to mourn the loss of a season. i had time to just rest and heal. i had time to ask questions. i had time to accept my decision{s}. i had time to explore and adventure. i had time to actually get excited and expectant for what's next. i had time to process verbally and non-verbally. i had time to dispel the Devil's lies and take every thought captive, replacing them with the Truth of the gospel i so desperately need.
the ways in which i want to encourage others through my experiences as of late, is this:
1) life doesn't always make sense, but if we keep our eyes on Christ, the answers we so long for are available: they are all found in HIM! they are found in the simple-everyday, yet profound time with Him.
2) i cannot put hope in myself, in my abilities, or my dreams {they will fail me, cripple me, leave me spinning} but rather put all my hopes and dreams in Christ, who will never fail me!
3) His plans are higher. waiting for him in those pastures and beside those waters is the most beautiful thing i could ever do. the waiting is worthwhile. the joy is in the journey. the plans i muster up are simply average, at best, whereas His are magnificent and perfect, because they come from the Author and Perfecter!
4) i cannot put performance above purpose. purpose always trumps performance. God longs for me to know Him and Love others so much infinitely more than He longs for me to do something great. in fact, He doesn't care much about what i do! He cares about the WHO of the heart and the WHY of the intention. i am not what i do, but who i am in Christ.
have your way, Father. not my will be done, but "Thy will be done!"