I'm here again, in the daily dance of faith...fight of faith! Some seemingly, stupidly small things in my world lately have, honestly, got me in a funk. But at the same time, [Matthew 16:24-26 ESV] has been on my heart a lot lately. "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?" The precious, precious word of God saves me again. Oof. Doesn't sound like the kind of wonder we want to experience, though, does it?! When Jesus bore an unthinkable cross for us, he invited us to the unimaginable, messy journey of following Him. For the wonder & miraculousness of relationship with him we experience, there is also great pain in our brokenness in a broken world.
How often am I truly looking for wonders around me? To stop & see the unfathomable beauty that is everyday life! For God to display His awesomeness. Truth is, he is always displaying his awesomeness because he is the "ness" of "awesome" in itself! He invented awesome. I recently decided to ask God to show me a miracle a few weeks back. I asked with particular excitedness, yet at the same time, just a seemingly normal, yet willing request. It makes me think of, metaphorically, flexing my faith muscles to test them! I love that. I actually really love, love that! I love that we can genuinely come to Him with anything on our hearts. Not just rote prayers, but real wonders of our souls, regardless of how seemingly grand or tiny. The sweetest of best friends who is eagerly waiting & actually expectant for us to run to Him with the latest 4-11 on our lives. We can ask because we genuinely believe He is the God of Wonders! Because He cares! Reminds me of the verse "cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" [1 Peter 5:7 NIV] Little did I know what the miracle I asked for would be, and low-and-behold, (once I had almost forgotten about it) I had a close friend request for prayer regarding her dad's heart: he had suffered a stroke and needed potential surgery. I prayed a simple prayer for him along with their family...nothing miraculous except for my genuine belief that he would be healed in Jesus name (that's the power of our faith in prayer!) The next day, I was told he had a heart that looked like that of someone around my age of even younger....umm YAS LORD! My heart jumped, and I quickly realized, "Whoa, I asked God specifically to show me a miracle this week!!!"
I discovered that I intercede, or even stumble upon wonders in my life, or for others, more than I truly realize. Yet I also have the potential to inhibit myself from truly witnessing these moments. Too much constant focus on myself, incessant negativity/attention to things I wish I could change(/don't want to change!), attachment to different distractions like social media (SO so so guilty...though I believe miracles can be witnessed there too!), pride in going my own way, or even disbelief in my creator's ability to perform miracles can potentially get in the way of seeing the miraculous. I'm even just now upon a chapter in a book, "The Jesus I Never Knew," by Philip Yancey, Miracles: Snapshots of the Supernatural, he says, "Faith can produce miracles, but miracles don't always produce faith." Hm. Hm! So even when I'm seeing & believing for these wonders, consciously or subconsciously (in my own sinfulness), may not be receiving them each and every one of them for the true beauty that they are.
That leads me to: How often am, at the same time SEEING wonders of God's goodness, also DOUBTING the miraculous around me? Lately I will admit in my world, I have seemed to be in a bit of a drag. Approaching 1 year as an expat in a foreign country, the "spark" of a new place can seemingly start to wear off. But, wait bull-headed, boisterous Brittany...remember when you prayed for the manifestation of where you are living, what you are doing, the community you have, etc, in this exact moment in time?! How fickle my humaness fails me, I spin around in the same cycle of ungrateful, self-centered, cycle. It is SO easy to get caught in the every day as a chore...to live as if nothing is special or Supernatural...to live as if everything is mundane, normal, unnoticed. But the life we're given (even more so as Believers saved by the most scandalous GRACE imaginable!) is not just to be simply endured! More than that, there IS Supernatural in the everyday, ever-normal moments. That is where Jesus wants to meet me most. What happens when it doesn't seem like those sweet miracles are happening // if we don't recognize them? Many times it's easy to say "seeing is believing," yet the crux of Christian faith is essentially based upon: "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." [Hebrews 11:1 NIV] Of course he's not a genie, but he does care about every little thing in our world, because he cares so deeply for us. His miracles are messy. How much do I believe he is still working even if I don't currently see the wonders or doubt the miracles?
I believe in this time the Lord is showing me they are always there, we only need to be willing {to get out of our own way!} & present {to invite Him in!}, to see them.
Some example, seeing wonders can be big or small:
A child's genuine smile
A friend's encouragement
A rush of wind over me
A clean report of health
A safe travel
A delicious meal
An new or old cherished adventure
A rainy day "people-watching" in a cafe (coffee included!) ....etc etc etc etc!
And, for me, the daily bread of time with Jesus is my lifeline to believe for the miraculous:
A worship song or prayer
A verse or passage of scripture
A time spent in nature
Talking to God in whatever random task I'm doing
Running, journaling, coloring while talking to God
Stillness alone or in the midst of chaos
All of a sudden, normal things become more beautiful with Jesus. This daily bread is so, very, incredibly, endlessly vital.
#ScripturalSurvivalSnippets for me:
1} Take up my cross daily [Matthew 16:24]
2} Cast my anxieties upon my Father [1 Peter 5:7]
3} Faith in what I do not see [Hebrews 11:1]
This walk was (of course!), not meant to be miraculous in every moment, yet the one who we look to makes it wondrous & IS the wondrous, miraculous one. In him, one simple moment can knock you to your knees in wonder. In him, any mourning can turn to dancing and sorrow turn to joy. I've certainly got nothing miraculous about myself, other than I'm the daughter of a most high king! I know in my utter sinfulness I'll keep missing the wonders, and I'll keep doubting the miraculous. But, He'll be there again and again and again and again. In my father's promise, I can continually keep trying to see the wonders and trust the miracles that He intends! In the meantime, his daily bread has to be enough for me.